Among the Evils of Wedding Parties
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Question: I am a young man who holds firmly to my religion, praise be to Allah, and I have decided to marry a girl, but her family, at the time of the engagement, held a large party and brought in singing groups.
And what happened in this party contradicted the teachings of our noble religion, and that was against my will, for I had warned them against it, and I did not contribute to any of the costs of that party. However, I fear that this will be repeated on the day of the wedding, so I have warned them against such things, and the matter has reached the point of breaking off the marriage. Am I right in my insistence on this, even if it leads to divorce, or not? And what is your advice to those who are extravagant in wedding parties and lose huge sums of money in what is of no benefit, but rather may incur sin and the anger of Allah?
Answer: First: We thank the questioner for his zeal for his religion and for his forbidding of what is wrong, and we hope that Allah will reward him and keep him firm in forbidding what is wrong. There is no doubt that holding these parties at the time of the contract, or at the time of consummation, is contrary to what the Shari'ah has brought regarding the facilitation of marriage, the lightening of its costs, and assisting in it by all possible means. If these parties are free from what is wrong, they are a burden on the husband's shoulders, and extravagance and waste. But if they include what is wrong, and singing as the questioner mentioned, or perhaps the free mixing of men and women, and other evils, then this is another crime and another evil.
The result: It is not permissible to hold such parties because of the extravagance and waste in them, and the obstruction of marriage by the high costs, and also because of the singing and music in them, which is among the greatest evils that surround them. So Muslims should fear Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) and avoid such matters.
And the celebration at the time of consummation, if it is free from evils and also free from extravagance and waste, for example, if the women gather separately and are veiled in a secluded place, and there is some beating of the hand drum to announce this marriage, then this is a good thing, and this is a recommended practice.
As for there being a mixed party, with the voices of male and female singers, and there being some of the forbidden things, then Islam does not approve of this.
In conclusion: You are right, O questioner, in your forbidding of this act, and you must continue to refrain from it and forbid them, so that perhaps Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) may benefit through you, and that you may be a good example for others.
And what happened in this party contradicted the teachings of our noble religion, and that was against my will, for I had warned them against it, and I did not contribute to any of the costs of that party. However, I fear that this will be repeated on the day of the wedding, so I have warned them against such things, and the matter has reached the point of breaking off the marriage. Am I right in my insistence on this, even if it leads to divorce, or not? And what is your advice to those who are extravagant in wedding parties and lose huge sums of money in what is of no benefit, but rather may incur sin and the anger of Allah?
Answer: First: We thank the questioner for his zeal for his religion and for his forbidding of what is wrong, and we hope that Allah will reward him and keep him firm in forbidding what is wrong. There is no doubt that holding these parties at the time of the contract, or at the time of consummation, is contrary to what the Shari'ah has brought regarding the facilitation of marriage, the lightening of its costs, and assisting in it by all possible means. If these parties are free from what is wrong, they are a burden on the husband's shoulders, and extravagance and waste. But if they include what is wrong, and singing as the questioner mentioned, or perhaps the free mixing of men and women, and other evils, then this is another crime and another evil.
The result: It is not permissible to hold such parties because of the extravagance and waste in them, and the obstruction of marriage by the high costs, and also because of the singing and music in them, which is among the greatest evils that surround them. So Muslims should fear Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) and avoid such matters.
And the celebration at the time of consummation, if it is free from evils and also free from extravagance and waste, for example, if the women gather separately and are veiled in a secluded place, and there is some beating of the hand drum to announce this marriage, then this is a good thing, and this is a recommended practice.
As for there being a mixed party, with the voices of male and female singers, and there being some of the forbidden things, then Islam does not approve of this.
In conclusion: You are right, O questioner, in your forbidding of this act, and you must continue to refrain from it and forbid them, so that perhaps Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) may benefit through you, and that you may be a good example for others.