The Ruling on Delaying Marriage and Procrastinating It
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Question:
The Noble Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) advised the youth to marry, but we observe that many young women refuse early marriage on flimsy excuses. What is your guidance in this matter? And what is the ruling on refusing?
Answer:
We advise everyone, males and females, young men and young women, to take the initiative in marriage and to abandon baseless excuses: not for study, not for a job, and not for anything else. We advise everyone to take the initiative in marriage, to reduce bridal gifts, and to forgo extravagance in wedding feasts; so that marriage becomes easy. Among the obstacles is exaggeration in bridal gifts, among the obstacles is exaggeration in wedding feasts, and among the obstacles is her claim that she wants to delay until she finishes her studies.
And so it is with the young men: he says, "I will be patient until I finish university," and then when he finishes university he says, "I will get a job," and then he will seek to find a flat or find an apartment, and so the days and nights pass in excuses. All of this is not permissible, and it is not permissible with the ability to do so.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Mishkat al-Masabih 3080, and this is a command, and a command implies obligation.
And Allah the Exalted said: [al-Nur: 32]. Al-ayama: those who do not have spouses, from men and women.
So marriage is obligatory, and it is not permissible to delay for mere excuses that he wants to buy a flat, or to renovate a flat, or until he finishes his studies, or until she finishes her studies, if he is able to marry, let him take the initiative, and the young woman should agree, and her family should agree, and it is not permissible for them to delay with the ability to complete the marriage; out of concern for the chastity of private parts, and lowering the gaze, for the danger is great, and the time is a frightening time, and corruption is great, and free mixing is much, and evil is varied.
So it is not befitting for the believer to be lax in this matter, rather it is befitting for him to be concerned about preserving his religion, preserving his reputation, preserving his limbs, lowering his gaze, and guarding his private parts through marriage, and he should not say he will marry only one, even if it is with two, or with three, or with four, even if some women are not pleased with him marrying, and he should be concerned about the chastity of his private parts, so if one is not sufficient for him, he takes two, and if the two are not sufficient for him, he takes three, and if the three are not sufficient for him, he takes four.
And it is not befitting for her to refuse that, and it is not befitting for her to be angry about that, and it is not befitting for her to be deceived by what may be broadcast on some radio stations, or some television, or some newspapers: of denying plural marriage. All of this is false, all of it is contrary to the Shari'ah of Allah, and Allah commanded plural marriage and made it permissible and said: [al-Nisa: 3]. A quarter of a spouse is better than nothing, half a spouse is better than nothing, a third of a spouse is better than nothing, better than remaining alone.
So the obligatory is fearing Allah, and monitoring Allah, and enduring, and being patient, and not being lax in these matters. It is obligatory to take the initiative in marriage, and it is obligatory to be concerned about chastity. And if he is satisfied with one and sees that she is sufficient, there is no harm. And if he has strength in the need for women, and one does not make him chaste, and perhaps this will lead him to zina; let him take the initiative to the second and third, perhaps they will make him chaste. And the one woman is subject to what women are subject to of menstruation, post-natal bleeding, and illnesses. So if he has a second, he enjoys her and she makes him chaste, and if he has a third, likewise. And the obligatory for her is to acknowledge this, and to accept this, and to excuse him in this matter if he is just with her, and fears Allah with her, and fulfills her right. And the obligatory for him is justice and fearing Allah in that.
The intended meaning of all of this is urging marriage, and being concerned about marriage, and not making excuses, not from the young woman, and not from the young men. The obligatory is to facilitate in bridal gifts and wedding feasts, and not to be extravagant, and not to make excuses for delaying until after studies, or until after such and such, or such and such. No, the person from when he reaches puberty is in need of marriage, in need of the chastity of his private parts, to lowering his gaze, to staying away from the causes of corruption.
May Allah guide everyone, we ask Allah to guide everyone.
The Noble Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) advised the youth to marry, but we observe that many young women refuse early marriage on flimsy excuses. What is your guidance in this matter? And what is the ruling on refusing?
Answer:
We advise everyone, males and females, young men and young women, to take the initiative in marriage and to abandon baseless excuses: not for study, not for a job, and not for anything else. We advise everyone to take the initiative in marriage, to reduce bridal gifts, and to forgo extravagance in wedding feasts; so that marriage becomes easy. Among the obstacles is exaggeration in bridal gifts, among the obstacles is exaggeration in wedding feasts, and among the obstacles is her claim that she wants to delay until she finishes her studies.
And so it is with the young men: he says, "I will be patient until I finish university," and then when he finishes university he says, "I will get a job," and then he will seek to find a flat or find an apartment, and so the days and nights pass in excuses. All of this is not permissible, and it is not permissible with the ability to do so.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Young man, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves you from immorality; but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire.
يا معشر الشباب، مَن استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوج، فإنه أغضُّ للبصر، وأحصن للفرج، ومَن لم يستطع فعليه بالصوم، فإنه له وِجاءAnd Allah the Exalted said:
And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves
وَأَنْكِحُوا الْأَيَامَى مِنْكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْSo marriage is obligatory, and it is not permissible to delay for mere excuses that he wants to buy a flat, or to renovate a flat, or until he finishes his studies, or until she finishes her studies, if he is able to marry, let him take the initiative, and the young woman should agree, and her family should agree, and it is not permissible for them to delay with the ability to complete the marriage; out of concern for the chastity of private parts, and lowering the gaze, for the danger is great, and the time is a frightening time, and corruption is great, and free mixing is much, and evil is varied.
So it is not befitting for the believer to be lax in this matter, rather it is befitting for him to be concerned about preserving his religion, preserving his reputation, preserving his limbs, lowering his gaze, and guarding his private parts through marriage, and he should not say he will marry only one, even if it is with two, or with three, or with four, even if some women are not pleased with him marrying, and he should be concerned about the chastity of his private parts, so if one is not sufficient for him, he takes two, and if the two are not sufficient for him, he takes three, and if the three are not sufficient for him, he takes four.
And it is not befitting for her to refuse that, and it is not befitting for her to be angry about that, and it is not befitting for her to be deceived by what may be broadcast on some radio stations, or some television, or some newspapers: of denying plural marriage. All of this is false, all of it is contrary to the Shari'ah of Allah, and Allah commanded plural marriage and made it permissible and said:
then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four
فَانْكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَى وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَاعَSo the obligatory is fearing Allah, and monitoring Allah, and enduring, and being patient, and not being lax in these matters. It is obligatory to take the initiative in marriage, and it is obligatory to be concerned about chastity. And if he is satisfied with one and sees that she is sufficient, there is no harm. And if he has strength in the need for women, and one does not make him chaste, and perhaps this will lead him to zina; let him take the initiative to the second and third, perhaps they will make him chaste. And the one woman is subject to what women are subject to of menstruation, post-natal bleeding, and illnesses. So if he has a second, he enjoys her and she makes him chaste, and if he has a third, likewise. And the obligatory for her is to acknowledge this, and to accept this, and to excuse him in this matter if he is just with her, and fears Allah with her, and fulfills her right. And the obligatory for him is justice and fearing Allah in that.
The intended meaning of all of this is urging marriage, and being concerned about marriage, and not making excuses, not from the young woman, and not from the young men. The obligatory is to facilitate in bridal gifts and wedding feasts, and not to be extravagant, and not to make excuses for delaying until after studies, or until after such and such, or such and such. No, the person from when he reaches puberty is in need of marriage, in need of the chastity of his private parts, to lowering his gaze, to staying away from the causes of corruption.
May Allah guide everyone, we ask Allah to guide everyone.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.