Reconciling a son's dutifulness to his mother with disciplining his sister
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Question:
A listener (S. S. J.) from Yemen sent a message saying: “Your Eminence, my problem is that my sister goes out of the house every day and does not care about it, going to her friends. I am afraid for her from harm, but I cannot stop her for fear of my mother. Previously, I was forced to stop my sister from leaving the house after I would argue with my mother, and anger, disagreement, and long quarrels would occur. I would lose my temper and be forced to threaten. What should I do? Because I fear that Allah will punish me for not caring about my family and my household, and for being negligent. I also fear that Allah will punish me for raising my voice at my mother, because I sometimes argue with her over that issue? Please guide us. May Allah reward you with good.”
Answer:
It is not permissible for you to raise your voice at your mother, nor to argue with her. Rather, it is obligatory for you to submit to her right of dutifulness, to be kind to her, and not to raise your voice at her. Allah the Exalted says:[Al-Isra 17:23] and lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy, and say: “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small.” [Al-Isra: 23-24].
You have no right to raise your voice at them, nor to harm them, nor to quarrel with them. Rather, you must use kind words and a good manner, even if they were disbelievers. How much more so with Muslims? Allah says regarding the disbelievers: [Luqman: 15].
As for your sister, if she goes out for suspicious reasons, prevent her from doing so without speaking to your parents. But if, with the praise of Allah, there is no suspicion regarding her and no danger to her, then leave aside the doubts and illusions that lead you to what is not appropriate. Stay away from ugly illusions, bad suspicions, and baseless assumptions.
And if there is a wrong matter that you know about your sister, then prevent her. Prevent her with kind words, a good manner, and cooperation with the parents in a good manner. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good, and may He do you good.
A listener (S. S. J.) from Yemen sent a message saying: “Your Eminence, my problem is that my sister goes out of the house every day and does not care about it, going to her friends. I am afraid for her from harm, but I cannot stop her for fear of my mother. Previously, I was forced to stop my sister from leaving the house after I would argue with my mother, and anger, disagreement, and long quarrels would occur. I would lose my temper and be forced to threaten. What should I do? Because I fear that Allah will punish me for not caring about my family and my household, and for being negligent. I also fear that Allah will punish me for raising my voice at my mother, because I sometimes argue with her over that issue? Please guide us. May Allah reward you with good.”
Answer:
It is not permissible for you to raise your voice at your mother, nor to argue with her. Rather, it is obligatory for you to submit to her right of dutifulness, to be kind to her, and not to raise your voice at her. Allah the Exalted says:
And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاهُمَا فَلا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا You have no right to raise your voice at them, nor to harm them, nor to quarrel with them. Rather, you must use kind words and a good manner, even if they were disbelievers. How much more so with Muslims? Allah says regarding the disbelievers:
but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness
وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًاAs for your sister, if she goes out for suspicious reasons, prevent her from doing so without speaking to your parents. But if, with the praise of Allah, there is no suspicion regarding her and no danger to her, then leave aside the doubts and illusions that lead you to what is not appropriate. Stay away from ugly illusions, bad suspicions, and baseless assumptions.
And if there is a wrong matter that you know about your sister, then prevent her. Prevent her with kind words, a good manner, and cooperation with the parents in a good manner. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good, and may He do you good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.