A woman asks: If I attend a party for my relatives and there is a lot of wrongdoing in it, and my attendance at this party is due to the invitation and fear of their anger, how do I forbid the wrongdoing?
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The questioner : If I attend a party for my relatives and there is a lot of wrongdoing in it, and my attendance at this party is due to the invitation and fear of their anger, how do I forbid this wrongdoing or leave the party?
The Shaykh : We say that if a person is invited to a place where there is an invitation involving wrongdoing, and if he is able to remove it, it is obligatory for him to attend for two reasons:
First: to respond to the invitation if it is from someone whose invitation must be accepted.
And second: to remove the wrongdoing. And if a person is not able to remove the wrongdoing, he should not respond, because if a person attends a gathering where there is wrongdoing, he shares in the sin even if he does not share in the act, due to the saying of Allah the Exalted:[An-Nisa 4:140].
As for the statement of some people that one should attend the wrongdoing and forbid it with his heart, this is not correct, because if he were sincere in forbidding it with his heart, he would not remain; he would leave. And if he attends the wedding feast believing that there is no wrongdoing in it, and then wrongdoing occurs, it is obligatory for him to forbid it. If he achieves his objective, that is fine; and if he does not achieve it, it is obligatory for him to leave.
The Shaykh : We say that if a person is invited to a place where there is an invitation involving wrongdoing, and if he is able to remove it, it is obligatory for him to attend for two reasons:
First: to respond to the invitation if it is from someone whose invitation must be accepted.
And second: to remove the wrongdoing. And if a person is not able to remove the wrongdoing, he should not respond, because if a person attends a gathering where there is wrongdoing, he shares in the sin even if he does not share in the act, due to the saying of Allah the Exalted:
And it has already come down to you in the Book that when you hear the verses of Allah [recited], they are denied [by them] and ridiculed; so do not sit with them until they enter into another conversation. Indeed, you would then be like them
وقد نزل عليكم في الكتاب أن إذا سمعتم آيات الله يكفر بها ويستهزأ بها فلا تقعدوا معهم حتى يخوضوا في حديث غيره إنكم إذا مثلهمAs for the statement of some people that one should attend the wrongdoing and forbid it with his heart, this is not correct, because if he were sincere in forbidding it with his heart, he would not remain; he would leave. And if he attends the wedding feast believing that there is no wrongdoing in it, and then wrongdoing occurs, it is obligatory for him to forbid it. If he achieves his objective, that is fine; and if he does not achieve it, it is obligatory for him to leave.