They mistreat their father because of his mistreatment of their mother
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Fatwa number ( 6016 )
Q: My mother advises us, amidst all her problems and worries, to greet our father, to see him, to honor him, and to go with him, but we refuse this. How can we comply with her in this matter given everything he does to her? And despite all this, my eldest brother, may Allah guide him, always quarrels with our mother in words and actions that Allah and His Messenger do not approve of for a son toward his mother. This is because, despite that, he goes to our father and serves his wife, despite everything our father does to my mother, and also to his wife, who has started trying to drive her children away; she is fed up with them and shuts the door in their faces. And despite all this, our mother says nothing about our father except to order us to treat him well, despite everything he does to us. As for me, I begin to doubt myself and my actions, whether they are right or wrong. Sometimes I raise my voice at my mother, out of my astonishment and frustration at the behavior she exhibits despite everything our father does to her. I understand that she has dignity and honor, so it should not be trampled upon because of our father. And when I advise my brother, he mocks me, insults me, and accuses me of hypocrisy and showing off. So I am confused about my situation and my actions, and what I would like an answer to from your eminence
May Allah reward you with good. It is: What is the action toward what my father does to my mother, and what should my mother do, and also what must I and my brothers do toward our mother and our father? Is it severing ties or good treatment, acting in accordance with the rights of parents, despite what is done to my mother? Guide us, may Allah reward you with good, what must I do in the correct direction to act in a way that pleases Allah and follows the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him)?
A : Obedience to parents is obligatory in what is good. Allah the Exalted said:[Al-Isra 17:23] So what your mother has ordered you to do, which is greeting your father and helping him, is obligatory for you toward your father. Your mother should be patient with what she encounters and seek reward from Allah; perhaps Allah will make for her a way out of the distress. And she should treat her husband with the best treatment; by improving their relationship and doing what she can of kindness and doing what is right. Allah the Exalted said: [Al-Kahf 18:30] And Allah the Exalted said: We ask Allah to make you successful in being dutiful to your parents,
and to guide your parents to good treatment of one another. And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and his Companions.
Q: My mother advises us, amidst all her problems and worries, to greet our father, to see him, to honor him, and to go with him, but we refuse this. How can we comply with her in this matter given everything he does to her? And despite all this, my eldest brother, may Allah guide him, always quarrels with our mother in words and actions that Allah and His Messenger do not approve of for a son toward his mother. This is because, despite that, he goes to our father and serves his wife, despite everything our father does to my mother, and also to his wife, who has started trying to drive her children away; she is fed up with them and shuts the door in their faces. And despite all this, our mother says nothing about our father except to order us to treat him well, despite everything he does to us. As for me, I begin to doubt myself and my actions, whether they are right or wrong. Sometimes I raise my voice at my mother, out of my astonishment and frustration at the behavior she exhibits despite everything our father does to her. I understand that she has dignity and honor, so it should not be trampled upon because of our father. And when I advise my brother, he mocks me, insults me, and accuses me of hypocrisy and showing off. So I am confused about my situation and my actions, and what I would like an answer to from your eminence
May Allah reward you with good. It is: What is the action toward what my father does to my mother, and what should my mother do, and also what must I and my brothers do toward our mother and our father? Is it severing ties or good treatment, acting in accordance with the rights of parents, despite what is done to my mother? Guide us, may Allah reward you with good, what must I do in the correct direction to act in a way that pleases Allah and follows the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him)?
A : Obedience to parents is obligatory in what is good. Allah the Exalted said:
And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلا تَعْبُدُوا إِلا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاهُمَا فَلا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلا كَرِيمًاindeed, We will not allow to be lost the reward of any who did well in deeds.
إِنَّا لاَ نُضِيعُ أَجْرَ مَنْ أَحْسَنَ عَمَلاAnd the outcome is for the righteous.
وَالْعَاقِبَةُ لِلتَّقْوَىand to guide your parents to good treatment of one another. And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and his Companions.
Source
www.alifta.gov.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.