He mistreats his parents because his mother favors his brother
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The first question of Fatwa number ( 1901 )
Q1: The content is: The questioner lives with his parents in one house, but he is constantly in conflict with his mother and has cut off ties with his father. The reason is that his mother favors his younger brother, so he describes him with the ugliest descriptions and curses him with the harshest curses for the most trivial reasons. Consequently, he has developed psychological complexes, whereas she is lenient with his brother, even if he mistreats her severely. Thus, the brother has become spoiled and free of psychological complexes,
and his father also mistreats him greatly. He rarely returns his greeting, and sometimes hits him in front of people for the slightest reason, yet he does not hit his younger brother even if his mistreatment is severe. Does he have the right to demand from his parents, who have mistreated him, the same dutifulness and maintaining of ties that other sons receive? Does he sin by stirring up conflicts, even though he strives to avoid them? He often regrets them after they occur, and he gives charity on their behalf without their knowledge. Will they be rewarded for that, and will he also be rewarded? Will that mitigate his sins, even though this charity is very small?
A1: The parents may be excused for what occurred from them, and they may have considerations for being strict with one of their children over another, such as him being older in age and more mature than the others, so his mistake is more severe, or disciplining him to make him upright so he can be a role model for his younger siblings. And assuming they have mistreated him, it is not permissible for the son to reciprocate their evil with evil, but rather to reciprocate it with good; acting in accordance with the saying of the Exalted:[Al-Mu'minun 23:96] and the parents are more deserving of kindness than others; due to the saying of the Exalted: and His saying, the Exalted: [Al-'Ankabut 29:8]
So the son is commanded to treat his parents with kindness, even if they strive to make him associate others with Allah, and shirk is the greatest of major sins. He is commanded to adhere to the straight path of Allah, and it is informed that the recompense for all of it is with the Exalted on the Day of Resurrection. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded dutifulness to parents and warned against undutifulness to them, and clarified that undutifulness is among the greatest of major sins. This is while we thank you for your regret over what you did of stirring up conflicts and cutting off ties, and for the charity on their behalf. If you had announced that to them, it would be more hopeful for harmony and their tenderness toward you. It is hoped for you and for them reward and forgiveness of sins by what you brought of charity on their behalf, even if it was little, for Allah multiplies good deeds. As for the parents, it is obligatory upon them to seek justice between their children; due to the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):Sahih al-Bukhari 2587 . And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.
Q1: The content is: The questioner lives with his parents in one house, but he is constantly in conflict with his mother and has cut off ties with his father. The reason is that his mother favors his younger brother, so he describes him with the ugliest descriptions and curses him with the harshest curses for the most trivial reasons. Consequently, he has developed psychological complexes, whereas she is lenient with his brother, even if he mistreats her severely. Thus, the brother has become spoiled and free of psychological complexes,
and his father also mistreats him greatly. He rarely returns his greeting, and sometimes hits him in front of people for the slightest reason, yet he does not hit his younger brother even if his mistreatment is severe. Does he have the right to demand from his parents, who have mistreated him, the same dutifulness and maintaining of ties that other sons receive? Does he sin by stirring up conflicts, even though he strives to avoid them? He often regrets them after they occur, and he gives charity on their behalf without their knowledge. Will they be rewarded for that, and will he also be rewarded? Will that mitigate his sins, even though this charity is very small?
A1: The parents may be excused for what occurred from them, and they may have considerations for being strict with one of their children over another, such as him being older in age and more mature than the others, so his mistake is more severe, or disciplining him to make him upright so he can be a role model for his younger siblings. And assuming they have mistreated him, it is not permissible for the son to reciprocate their evil with evil, but rather to reciprocate it with good; acting in accordance with the saying of the Exalted:
Repel, by [means of] what is best
ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُAnd to parents, kindness
وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًاBut if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.
وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلا تُطِعْهُمَا إِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِمَا كُنْتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَSo the son is commanded to treat his parents with kindness, even if they strive to make him associate others with Allah, and shirk is the greatest of major sins. He is commanded to adhere to the straight path of Allah, and it is informed that the recompense for all of it is with the Exalted on the Day of Resurrection. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded dutifulness to parents and warned against undutifulness to them, and clarified that undutifulness is among the greatest of major sins. This is while we thank you for your regret over what you did of stirring up conflicts and cutting off ties, and for the charity on their behalf. If you had announced that to them, it would be more hopeful for harmony and their tenderness toward you. It is hoped for you and for them reward and forgiveness of sins by what you brought of charity on their behalf, even if it was little, for Allah multiplies good deeds. As for the parents, it is obligatory upon them to seek justice between their children; due to the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
Be afraid of Allah, and be just to your children.
اتقوا الله واعدلوا بين أولادكم
Source
www.alifta.gov.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.