What should a man do if his mother causes problems between him and his wife?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : Peace be upon you
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace and the mercy of Allah.
The questioner : Shaykh, I am from Algeria and I would like to ask you two questions.
The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner : The first question, Shaykh, is that I have a mother, and this mother has caused problems with my wife. So what should I do, Shaykh?
The Shaykh : I am thinking about this question. What should the answer be? I am not with you, so I do not know how you behave toward your mother or how she behaves toward your wife, so that I could give you an answer to your question, such as "do this." I do not know how the situation is, but perhaps you should keep in mind the saying of Allah, Mighty and Majestic:[Al-Isra 17:23-24] Perhaps you will do it!
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Perhaps you will treat your mother as your Lord has decreed in this verse.
The questioner : O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : I am asking you and you do not answer. Perhaps you will do what your Lord has decreed in this verse?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Well then, what is the problem?
The questioner : The problem, Shaykh, is that she is ignorant of the Shari'ah and opposes it in my home and with my wife. For example, let me give you an example, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : No, no, we do not need examples!
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Is she, for example, more misguided than Azar, the father of Ibrahim?
The questioner : I do not know her well. I do not know this story well, Shaykh!
The Shaykh : You know that Ibrahim (peace be upon him) was the intimate friend of Allah, and his father was a mushrik (one who associates partners with Allah). He admonished him in the Qur'an, always saying to him: O my father, O my father [Maryam 19:44] So he was always gentle with him, even though he was a mushrik. And your mother, however ignorant she may be, as you said, and she is, if Allah wills, not a mushrik. The important thing is that you be gentle in dealing with her. This is from one aspect. And from another aspect, regarding your wife, is she righteous, if Allah wills, and does she listen to your words and obey you?
The questioner : That is not the second problem. She also, I mean, is ignorant of some of the Shari'ah.
The Shaykh : The Shari'ah: So how can you expect me to give an answer to a problem between two problems, the first related to your mother and the second related to your wife? So you must solve the problem in a way that is acceptable to both the Shari'ah and reason.
The questioner : May Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : And may He reward you.
The questioner : Peace be upon you, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.
The questioner : Peace be upon you
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace and the mercy of Allah.
The questioner : Shaykh, I am from Algeria and I would like to ask you two questions.
The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner : The first question, Shaykh, is that I have a mother, and this mother has caused problems with my wife. So what should I do, Shaykh?
The Shaykh : I am thinking about this question. What should the answer be? I am not with you, so I do not know how you behave toward your mother or how she behaves toward your wife, so that I could give you an answer to your question, such as "do this." I do not know how the situation is, but perhaps you should keep in mind the saying of Allah, Mighty and Majestic:
(23) And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. (24) And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."
وقضى ربك ألا تعبدوا إلا إياه بالوالدين إحسانا إما يبلغن عندك الكبر أحدهما أو كلاهما فلا تقل لهما أف ولا تنهرهما وقل لهما قولا كريما واخفض لهما جناح الذل من الرحمة وقل ربي ارحمهما كما ربياني صغيراThe questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Perhaps you will treat your mother as your Lord has decreed in this verse.
The questioner : O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : I am asking you and you do not answer. Perhaps you will do what your Lord has decreed in this verse?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Well then, what is the problem?
The questioner : The problem, Shaykh, is that she is ignorant of the Shari'ah and opposes it in my home and with my wife. For example, let me give you an example, Shaykh.
The Shaykh : No, no, we do not need examples!
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Is she, for example, more misguided than Azar, the father of Ibrahim?
The questioner : I do not know her well. I do not know this story well, Shaykh!
The Shaykh : You know that Ibrahim (peace be upon him) was the intimate friend of Allah, and his father was a mushrik (one who associates partners with Allah). He admonished him in the Qur'an, always saying to him:
O my father
يا أبتdo not worship Satan
لا تعبد الشيطانThe questioner : That is not the second problem. She also, I mean, is ignorant of some of the Shari'ah.
The Shaykh : The Shari'ah: So how can you expect me to give an answer to a problem between two problems, the first related to your mother and the second related to your wife? So you must solve the problem in a way that is acceptable to both the Shari'ah and reason.
The questioner : May Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : And may He reward you.
The questioner : Peace be upon you, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.
Source
www.al-albany.com
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.