and live with them in kindness
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Question: My husband hits me and spits in my face over matters that do not deserve this. What is your opinion, Your Eminence?
Answer: It is obligatory for the husband to fear Allah, and not to hit or spit except with wisdom; for Allah the Exalted says: [Surat al-Nisa: 19], and the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) says: Sunan Abi Dawud 1905Sahih (Al-Albani). So treat women with kindness.
So it is obligatory for the husband to fear Allah, to watch over his fear of Allah, and to treat his wife with kindness, with good words and a good manner. He should not hit or be ugly in his behavior, and his words should be good and his actions good. This is what is obligatory for him.
But if the wife disobeys and contradicts the orders, he may hit her with a non-harmful hit, a light hit. Allah the Exalted said: [Surat al-Nisa: 34]. This is if he fears her marital defiance and she becomes disobedient to him and contradicts his orders. He may boycott her and admonish her, and the hitting comes last. He admonishes her first, for example saying: "O daughter of so-and-so, fear Allah, obey your husband, fear Allah, watch over your fear of Allah, leave this action." Or he may boycott her in the bed for a day or two or three. There is no harm in this.
So if the boycott does not benefit and the words do not benefit, he may hit her with a non-harmful hit, a light hit, that does not break a bone or injure her body, if the boycott did not avail and the admonition did not benefit. As for the husband whose habit is to be aggressive toward the wife, to frown, and to use bad language, this is not of the character of a believer. It is obligatory that the husband’s character be good with his wife. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was the best of people in character with his wives.
So it is obligatory for the husband to follow the example of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), and to be of good character with his wife and good in his treatment of her. And we ask Allah for guidance for everyone.
Answer: It is obligatory for the husband to fear Allah, and not to hit or spit except with wisdom; for Allah the Exalted says:
And live with them in kindness
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِFear Allaah regarding women for you have got them under Allah’s security and have the right to intercourse with them by Allaah’s word
استوصوا بالنساء خيرًا فإنما أخذتموهن بأمانة الله واستحللتم فروجهن بكلمة اللهSo it is obligatory for the husband to fear Allah, to watch over his fear of Allah, and to treat his wife with kindness, with good words and a good manner. He should not hit or be ugly in his behavior, and his words should be good and his actions good. This is what is obligatory for him.
But if the wife disobeys and contradicts the orders, he may hit her with a non-harmful hit, a light hit. Allah the Exalted said:
But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them
وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّSo if the boycott does not benefit and the words do not benefit, he may hit her with a non-harmful hit, a light hit, that does not break a bone or injure her body, if the boycott did not avail and the admonition did not benefit. As for the husband whose habit is to be aggressive toward the wife, to frown, and to use bad language, this is not of the character of a believer. It is obligatory that the husband’s character be good with his wife. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was the best of people in character with his wives.
So it is obligatory for the husband to follow the example of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), and to be of good character with his wife and good in his treatment of her. And we ask Allah for guidance for everyone.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.