Is refusing to help one's mother considered undutifulness?
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Question:
A letter reached the program from the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, Irbid, sent by one of the sisters from there, who indicated her name with the initials (N. H). She says: There is a mother who forces her married daughters to come and do the work in her house, even though she is capable of working. If one of them falls short, she starts cursing her and accusing her of being negligent in her rights, and she declares her anger at her. Does she have the right to do that? And does refusing her request fall under the category of undutifulness? We ask for your guidance. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
This requires a detailed explanation. If the husband does not approve, then she has no right to do that, and the husband's right in this matter takes precedence. It is not permissible for them to disobey their husband and come to their mother for this work. However, if the husband has permitted them to do so, and she is in need of having the affairs of her house put in order, then they should respond to her. Each one should do a share of it: this day it is so-and-so, this day it is so-and-so. This is in the spirit of cooperating with their mother, of comforting her, of being dutiful and kind, and of not cutting ties or being undutiful. The mother has a great right. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was asked by a questioner: Who is the most deserving of my good companionship? He said: He said: Then who? He said: He said: Then who? He said: He said: Then who? He said: Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1897Hasan (Darussalam) In another version, it was said: O Messenger of Allah! Who is the most deserving of my good companionship? He said: He said: Then who? He said: He said: Then who? He said: He said: Then who? He said: .
Therefore, it is prescribed for them to strive to please her and fulfill her needs if the husband permits, and they should take turns, with each one doing a share. They should divide the time, with each one having a day, or a night, for their mother's needs. They will have a great reward and much good in this, along with pleasing their mother, comforting her, and her being pleased with them, and her not cursing them. We ask Allah for guidance for everyone.
The presenter : O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good.
A letter reached the program from the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, Irbid, sent by one of the sisters from there, who indicated her name with the initials (N. H). She says: There is a mother who forces her married daughters to come and do the work in her house, even though she is capable of working. If one of them falls short, she starts cursing her and accusing her of being negligent in her rights, and she declares her anger at her. Does she have the right to do that? And does refusing her request fall under the category of undutifulness? We ask for your guidance. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
This requires a detailed explanation. If the husband does not approve, then she has no right to do that, and the husband's right in this matter takes precedence. It is not permissible for them to disobey their husband and come to their mother for this work. However, if the husband has permitted them to do so, and she is in need of having the affairs of her house put in order, then they should respond to her. Each one should do a share of it: this day it is so-and-so, this day it is so-and-so. This is in the spirit of cooperating with their mother, of comforting her, of being dutiful and kind, and of not cutting ties or being undutiful. The mother has a great right. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was asked by a questioner: Who is the most deserving of my good companionship? He said:
Your mother
أمكYour mother
أمكYour mother
أمكyour father, then the nearest relatives, then the nearest relatives
أباك ثم الأقرب فالأقربYour mother
أمكYour mother
أمكYour mother
أمكYour father.
أبوكTherefore, it is prescribed for them to strive to please her and fulfill her needs if the husband permits, and they should take turns, with each one doing a share. They should divide the time, with each one having a day, or a night, for their mother's needs. They will have a great reward and much good in this, along with pleasing their mother, comforting her, and her being pleased with them, and her not cursing them. We ask Allah for guidance for everyone.
The presenter : O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.