The Legitimacy of Gentleness with One's Father When Guiding and Advising Him
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
This is a letter from a questioner who identified himself as (A. A. A) from al-Mansurah. He says: My father is about fifty-two years old. He maintains the obligatory prayers at their prescribed times.
The Shaykh: Repeat, repeat.
The presenter: This questioner says: My father is about fifty-two years old. He maintains the obligatory prayers at their prescribed times, but he jokes a lot with people, both the righteous and the corrupt, engaging in obscenities and evil. This angers me and makes me lose control, so I reprimand him at that very moment, in front of these people and these corrupt individuals, in a very harsh manner. For example, I say to him: "Only a corrupt or open sinner would say such words. If you die in this state, you will meet Allah while He is angry with you." I will not bore you with the details, but I was harsh with him, despite my fear for him of Allah's anger. So what should I do? If my manner angers Allah, please guide us, may Allah reward you.
Answer: What is prescribed for you, my brother, is gentleness and calling to Allah with wisdom and a good manner, especially with your father. Allah, Exalted and Majestic, says: [Ta-Ha:44] when He sent Musa and Harun to Pharaoh, [Ta-Ha:44]. And Allah, the Exalted, says to His Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him): [Al-Imran:159]. And Allah, the Exalted, says: a [An-Nahl:125]. So we advise you to be gentle with your father and to address him in a good manner, between you and him, until Allah guides him. You must use kind words, a good manner, and gentleness in advising him and guiding him to good, whether in the presence of people or privately between you and him. We ask Allah to guide him and to protect him from Satan.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh: Repeat, repeat.
The presenter: This questioner says: My father is about fifty-two years old. He maintains the obligatory prayers at their prescribed times, but he jokes a lot with people, both the righteous and the corrupt, engaging in obscenities and evil. This angers me and makes me lose control, so I reprimand him at that very moment, in front of these people and these corrupt individuals, in a very harsh manner. For example, I say to him: "Only a corrupt or open sinner would say such words. If you die in this state, you will meet Allah while He is angry with you." I will not bore you with the details, but I was harsh with him, despite my fear for him of Allah's anger. So what should I do? If my manner angers Allah, please guide us, may Allah reward you.
Answer: What is prescribed for you, my brother, is gentleness and calling to Allah with wisdom and a good manner, especially with your father. Allah, Exalted and Majestic, says:
And speak to him with gentle speech
فَقُولا لَهُ قَوْلًا لَيِّنًاthat perhaps he may be reminded or fear [Allah]."
لَعَلَّهُ يَتَذَكَّرُ أَوْ يَخْشَىSo by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you.
فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِنَ اللَّهِ لِنْتَ لَهُمْ وَلَوْ كُنْتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لانْفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَInvite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best
دْعُ إِلَى سَبِيلِ رَبِّكََ بِالْحِكْمَةِ وَالْمَوْعِظَةِ الْحَسَنَةِ وَجَادِلْهُمْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُThe presenter: May Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.