Advice for a husband afflicted with a wife who does not treat him well

A message was sent from the United Arab Emirates by one of the listening brothers there, who indicated his name with the letters (R. T. 'A). His message is somewhat lengthy. He says: I am married to a wife, and I have three daughters and two sons from her. My problem with this wife is that for eight years I have been trying to guide her, with kindness and good words, but to no avail. Her head is hard as stone; she does not listen to words, she disobeys my orders, and she does not listen to me. She embarrasses me in front of relatives and friends, and she always denies kindness and favors. She loves to dominate and loves to have the final say. She does not like me to visit my relatives, especially my mother. All this patience is because she is a relative, and for the sake of her mother, who is my aunt, my father’s sister, but it has been of no use. In short, I am not at ease with her, and my soul desires marriage as if I had never been married before. If I marry, will I have wronged her? And if I do not marry, will I be held accountable for my soul’s desire for marriage? May Allah reward you with good.
Answer: A woman like the one you described, with those characteristics, should be divorced and not kept. If you are able to keep her and marry another so that you may guard your chastity, that is good. Marry if you are able, and keep her for the sake of her children or for the sake of her mother, and show her mercy with good words and constant guidance toward good. Her mother can help you in that by guiding her toward good, so there is no blame on you. If she prays, that is one thing; but if she does not pray, she should never remain with you. You must separate from her, because whoever abandons prayer is a disbeliever. We ask Allah for safety.
You should hasten to marry so that you may guard your chastity, if you are able. Hasten to marry, and perhaps she will be guided after that, or you may divorce her and find relief from her, and praise be to Allah. Because her remaining with you is a burden on you and a harm to you. But if Allah guides her after your marriage, there is nothing wrong with that. Or if you show her mercy because of her weak intellect and for the sake of her mother, and you are patient with her and treat her well, then you will be rewarded for your kindness and patience. However, you are excused in separating from her and divorcing her because of the bad character you mentioned about her.
So you should hasten to marry and strive to marry, and Allah will help you so that you may guard your chastity and find relief from this affliction. If Allah guides her, well and good; otherwise, separate from her. Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, says: [Al-Nisa: 130]. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good.