Advice for one whose father treats him harshly and obstructs his marriage

Question:
This is a message from the questioner, Ali Muhammad Yasin, from Taiz, Yemen. He says: I am a young man residing in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, seeking lawful sustenance. My problem is my father, who has treated us badly since I was a child. He left me with my mother and cut us off from everything, until I grew up and he did not know me, and I did not know him, as a result of his cutting us off. Then, after I grew up, I traveled to the Kingdom to work, and I was sending money with the intention of using it to get married. However, he would take it and tell the families I wanted to marry into that my son is dead. Then I sent the money again to my fiancée’s family, but when he learned of that, he filed a lawsuit against them with the intention of taking the money I had paid them, on the pretext that I was dead. After that, I returned to my country to discuss this bad situation with him, but he received me in the worst way and threatened me with all sorts of harm if I refused to give him the money I had saved. This made me flee from him and his treatment, and I cut off ties with him.
So what is your advice for this father? And what do you guide me to do?
Please advise me, may Allah reward you.

Answer:
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah, and may Allah send blessings and peace upon the Messenger of Allah, and upon his family and his Companions, and upon those who follow his guidance. As for what follows:
There is no doubt that the right of the father is great, and being dutiful to him is obligatory. We advise you to treat him with the best of treatment, and to seek marriage elsewhere, among the Yemeni women present in the Kingdom, or in northern Yemen. If he is poor, be kind to him with what is easy for you; if he is poor, be kind to him with what Allah has made easy for you. Speak to him with the best of speech, because being dutiful to parents is a matter of great importance. Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, says: [Al-Isra: 23]. And when the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was asked, “Which deed is the best?” he said: It was said, “Then what, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: It was said, “Then what?” He said: Thus, he placed being dutiful to parents before jihad in the path of Allah. So being dutiful to them is great, and it is a binding command.
So we advise you to be kind to him, to speak to him with the best of speech, to pray for his guidance and success, and for a good ending. And leave off proposing to the women among the people around him, perhaps you will find another woman in another place. Women are many, in northern Yemen and in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, so that nothing happens between you and your father that you would not be pleased with the outcome of. And if it becomes easy for the family you proposed to to bring her to the Kingdom, and you marry her here in the Kingdom, that is a great good, and it is in your interest and gives you relief from conflict with your father. We ask Allah for guidance and success for us and for you.
In any case, we advise you to be gentle with your father, to be kind to him, and to seek the righteous path that enables you to marry without hardship between you and your father, whether with the girl you proposed to or with someone else. We ask Allah for you to make things easy and smooth.

The presenter: But what about his father’s action of claiming his son was dead in order to get the money?

The Shaykh: This is reprehensible. His father’s statement is wrong, because he lied about him, and because he prevented him from marrying. This is injustice from his father, and it is wrong. But the father must be endured; he must be endured even if he commits this error and this reprehensible act. One must endure it.

The presenter: He is only mistaken in this action of his.

The Shaykh: He is mistaken, no doubt, yes.

The presenter: May Allah bless you.