Guidance for one who mistreats his mother because of her poor treatment of his father
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Question:
So we move on to another topic via another message received by the program from one of the listening brothers, who described himself as being from a broken family, meaning: the father does not feel a sense of responsibility toward the family, and my mother quarrels with him over many matters, and the quarreling is either with a cause or without a cause, until she would overstep with him, so I would sometimes curse her, or assault her by pushing her, fearing that the quarreling between them would increase and the family would be scattered, and at the same time I regret what I did, and I try to convince her with words, or leave the house, but she does not care about my reprimand, or my leaving the house, and she mocks me at many times, and it would happen at many times that there would be quarreling with my uncles' wives, with a cause or without a cause, and I would push her, or convince her, but she would not obey me, even though I know from the Book of Allah the Exalted, His saying: [Al-Isra: 23]. Guide us on how to act? May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
You have done wrong in your action, and you have not done well, and it is obligatory for you to respect her, and to refrain from harming her, and to give advice only, as for cursing her, and pushing her, this is not permissible, this is undutifulness to parents, but you must use good words, and advice, if she accepts from you, and if not, then you have fulfilled what is upon you, and it is not permissible for you to push her with force, nor to curse her and invoke curses upon her, all of this is what is wrong, but you must be gentle, and use good words, and a good manner, and advice, otherwise seek someone to take your place in this, and advise her, and take charge of preventing her from harm, as for you, no, your father fulfills the obligation, her brother, her father; they address the issue, as for you, do not address her by cursing and harming her, we ask Allah for safety, yes.
The presenter: O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good.
So we move on to another topic via another message received by the program from one of the listening brothers, who described himself as being from a broken family, meaning: the father does not feel a sense of responsibility toward the family, and my mother quarrels with him over many matters, and the quarreling is either with a cause or without a cause, until she would overstep with him, so I would sometimes curse her, or assault her by pushing her, fearing that the quarreling between them would increase and the family would be scattered, and at the same time I regret what I did, and I try to convince her with words, or leave the house, but she does not care about my reprimand, or my leaving the house, and she mocks me at many times, and it would happen at many times that there would be quarreling with my uncles' wives, with a cause or without a cause, and I would push her, or convince her, but she would not obey me, even though I know from the Book of Allah the Exalted, His saying:
say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them
فَلا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلا تَنْهَرْهُمَاAnswer:
You have done wrong in your action, and you have not done well, and it is obligatory for you to respect her, and to refrain from harming her, and to give advice only, as for cursing her, and pushing her, this is not permissible, this is undutifulness to parents, but you must use good words, and advice, if she accepts from you, and if not, then you have fulfilled what is upon you, and it is not permissible for you to push her with force, nor to curse her and invoke curses upon her, all of this is what is wrong, but you must be gentle, and use good words, and a good manner, and advice, otherwise seek someone to take your place in this, and advise her, and take charge of preventing her from harm, as for you, no, your father fulfills the obligation, her brother, her father; they address the issue, as for you, do not address her by cursing and harming her, we ask Allah for safety, yes.
The presenter: O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.