How to Treat a Wife When She Is Stubborn
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Question:
This questioner, your brother in Allah, says: Your Eminence, may Allah preserve you, my wife is a committed woman, and I thank Allah for that. She is committed to the matters of religion, but she is not committed to my specific instructions. She is always defiant and opposes my orders regarding the management of the house and the upbringing of the children. When I ask her, "Why are you always opposing me?" she responds by saying that she forgets. She forgets more than ten times a day, and this opposition happens every day throughout the year. This led me to boycott her in bed after admonition and advice, and she did not change. This also led me to hit her with a very light hit. Then she got up, gathered her clothes and belongings, and went to her parents' house. What is the ruling on this behavior from me and from her? I do not hide from you, Your Eminence, that divorce is in my intention. Please advise us, may Allah reward you.
Answer:
What is prescribed for you, my brother, is patience, seeking reward, and not overexerting yourself. The Messenger said (peace and blessings be upon him): And the Lord (Exalted and Majestic is He) says: [Al-Nisa: 19]. So if she says that she is forgetful, you should be gentle with her as long as she is excusing herself with forgetfulness. Gentleness, patience, seeking reward, and not rushing to hit or use bad speech are what is required. This is how a believer should be with his wife, because Allah says: [Al-Nisa: 19]. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Mishkat al-Masabih 3238 And in the other wording: .
So the best for you, my brother, is patience, seeking reward, not rushing in matters, and striving to advise and counsel her until she is upright, if Allah wills. Do not rush.
As for light hitting, if the husband exerts effort, there is no harm in light hitting, because Allah said: [Al-Nisa: 34]. But this woman is not defiant, and you do not fear her defiance. Rather, she has some laxity in accepting instructions. So if you are patient with her, seek reward for that, and believe her when she says she is forgetful, that is closer to the truth. And because of the saying of the Lord (Exalted and Majestic is He): [Al-Nisa: 19], and the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you.
This questioner, your brother in Allah, says: Your Eminence, may Allah preserve you, my wife is a committed woman, and I thank Allah for that. She is committed to the matters of religion, but she is not committed to my specific instructions. She is always defiant and opposes my orders regarding the management of the house and the upbringing of the children. When I ask her, "Why are you always opposing me?" she responds by saying that she forgets. She forgets more than ten times a day, and this opposition happens every day throughout the year. This led me to boycott her in bed after admonition and advice, and she did not change. This also led me to hit her with a very light hit. Then she got up, gathered her clothes and belongings, and went to her parents' house. What is the ruling on this behavior from me and from her? I do not hide from you, Your Eminence, that divorce is in my intention. Please advise us, may Allah reward you.
Answer:
What is prescribed for you, my brother, is patience, seeking reward, and not overexerting yourself. The Messenger said (peace and blessings be upon him):
Treat women with kindness
استوصوا بالنساء خيرًاAnd live with them in kindness
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِAnd live with them in kindness
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِAct kindly toward women, for they were created from a rib and the most crooked part of a rib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain crooked
استوصوا بالنساء خيرًا، فإنهن خلقن من ضلع أعوج، فإن ذهبت تقيمه كسرته، وإلا لم يزل أعوجًاAnd breaking it is her divorce.
وكسرها طلاقهاSo the best for you, my brother, is patience, seeking reward, not rushing in matters, and striving to advise and counsel her until she is upright, if Allah wills. Do not rush.
As for light hitting, if the husband exerts effort, there is no harm in light hitting, because Allah said:
But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them
وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّAnd live with them in kindness
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِTreat women with kindness
استوصوا بالنساء خيرًاThe presenter: May Allah reward you.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.